Morgan started first grade. The sentence alone brings me to tears. I had such a hard time with it. Am I alone in this? Why is it so hard to send your child to school all day. Trevor told me the night before, "Don't make it a big deal...it's not a big deal...it's just like any other day....don't stress her out because you are a mess!" I tried my very best to not make it a big deal. But inside I was screaming the whole time. THIS IS A BIG DEAL! MY BABY WILL BE GONE ALL DAY! AWAY FROM ME, WITH STRANGERS. WHO WILL SHE SIT BY AT LUNCH? WILL SHE BE ABLE TO MAKE GOOD FRIENDS? WHAT IF SHE NEEDS SOMETHING? WHAT IF SHE NEEDS ME? As I watched her walk in the doors I stood there wishing I could follow her in. Wishing I could see her find her desk and put her back pack away. Wishing I could watch her at recess and eat her first lunch in the cafeteria. My heart broke as I realized I had to go. I had to leave her. I kept my composure as I walked to the car. Smiling at all the other parents as I left. Trying to keep it all together. Then...as soon as I got into my car, I let it all go and cried. I was so sad and happy for her at the same time. Why is it so hard to let go? Isn't this why we are here...what this life is all about? Growing, learning, changing. I looked at the clock and counted the six hours I would have to wait to find out how her day was and drove home wondering how I was going to be able to get anything done.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Am I alone in this?
Morgan started first grade. The sentence alone brings me to tears. I had such a hard time with it. Am I alone in this? Why is it so hard to send your child to school all day. Trevor told me the night before, "Don't make it a big deal...it's not a big deal...it's just like any other day....don't stress her out because you are a mess!" I tried my very best to not make it a big deal. But inside I was screaming the whole time. THIS IS A BIG DEAL! MY BABY WILL BE GONE ALL DAY! AWAY FROM ME, WITH STRANGERS. WHO WILL SHE SIT BY AT LUNCH? WILL SHE BE ABLE TO MAKE GOOD FRIENDS? WHAT IF SHE NEEDS SOMETHING? WHAT IF SHE NEEDS ME? As I watched her walk in the doors I stood there wishing I could follow her in. Wishing I could see her find her desk and put her back pack away. Wishing I could watch her at recess and eat her first lunch in the cafeteria. My heart broke as I realized I had to go. I had to leave her. I kept my composure as I walked to the car. Smiling at all the other parents as I left. Trying to keep it all together. Then...as soon as I got into my car, I let it all go and cried. I was so sad and happy for her at the same time. Why is it so hard to let go? Isn't this why we are here...what this life is all about? Growing, learning, changing. I looked at the clock and counted the six hours I would have to wait to find out how her day was and drove home wondering how I was going to be able to get anything done.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
SAD! But I know I'll be just like this in two years! Even thinking of part time preschool makes me sad! I know it's what their suppose to do and it's a great thing that their going to school and can learn. But as a mom who has taken care of her every day of her life...of course it's hard for you. But you'll get the hang of it...you'll do great!
You are not alone. When Mitch went to school I started crying just watching him on the playground before the bell rang. I have cried for each of them that first long day. But not necessarily because they will be there all day and I will miss them, but because they are getting so grown up and capable of doing big kid things. I'm proud of them. And as nervous as they are, they are ready. I bet you are doing better already.
It gets easier:) Although I hear sending the last one off to school is the worst. Have a boy, that might help:). My motto: 'give them strong roots to withstand all winds/storms and wings to soar.' It's so fun to see you Kristina and from the looks of it you are a fantastic mother.
Post a Comment